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Thread: 100 reasons why its great being a bloke.

  1. #1
    Moderator lottie's Avatar
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    Talking 100 reasons why its great being a bloke.

    Maybe you all can agree or disagree with whether these are great reasons to be a bloke.
    Thought ya'll might like these to increase that testerone stuff and boost your egos.....

    1 You never get drunk as fast as the girl you're chatting up
    2 You can tell jokes
    3 You get jokes
    4 You can go topless in Tunisia without getting stoned
    5 You go to bed with women
    6 You can work the video
    7 You're taller. Most of the time
    8 Sensitivity was never in the job description
    9 Cricket seems like a good idea
    10 You're expected to flash your arse in the window when you're travelling by coach
    11 Fat is a feminist issue
    12 George Best is a role model
    13 A good spot isn't the end of the world
    14 Betting shops don't go quiet when you walk in
    15 You can scratch your privates in public
    16 You don't have to breast-feed
    17 You get to operate heavy machinery
    18 Taking the piss is perfectly acceptable
    19 You don't have to remember where you've left things...
    20 ...but your records are in alphabetical order
    21 You know exactly what curtains you want for your new house. They're the ones they've got in the nearest curtain shop
    22 Ever heard the term "unfit father"?
    23 Your mum will always love you. In spite of everything
    24 Every newsagent is full of available partners - provided you can reach the top shelf
    25 You can carry an over the shoulder courier's bag on your back without rearranging your breasts
    26 It really doesn't matter if you can't stand up after midnight
    27 You are far more likely to receive than to give oral sex
    28 You have only a limited range of acceptable hairstyles to choose from
    29 And as you get older, you get less hair to worry about
    30 You can talk bollocks for hours without anybody picking you up on details
    31 You don't get patronised by coppers
    32 If you wear a suit and tie, nobody will suspect you're a lesbian
    33 You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday and left on the floor all night
    34 Even your best underwear is relatively uncomplicated
    35 As long as your mum's still alive you can get your washing done at her place
    36 Being treated like a sex object isn't such a bad thing
    37 Men rule the world..
    38 ...and you live in it
    39 You can whistle loudly in the street
    40 Your friends genuinely understand the offside rule
    41 You have absolutely no compunction about hiring a cleaning lady
    42 Unless you're a cyclist, you never have to consider waxing your legs
    43 You can eat a banana in front of builders
    44 You can pee standing up and wherever you want
    45 You get to organise your best mate's stag night
    46 Sex can be as quick as you like
    47 You don't have to wear makeup...
    48 ...but you can turn your face into a work of art with clever manipulation of facial hair>
    49 Your nails are always dry
    50 You won't grow up to be Anita Roddick
    51 In fact, you don't even have to grow up
    52 You can write a racy novel without being called a slapper
    53 You can become a Catholic priest and have unlimited free wine
    54 A Zimmer frame looks better on a man>
    55 So does a moustache
    56 You get to wear comfy shoes
    57 If you've got a toaster - which you have - you're never more that two minutes away from a tasty and nutritious meal
    58 You don't collapse in floods of tears if your partner says you look "fine"
    59 Socket sets
    60 You can have a baby without changing your wardrobe
    61 Tights are totally out of the question
    62 You can buy marrows, courgettes and cucumber without getting embarrassed
    63 You don't get pissed off if your spouse forgets Valentine's Day
    64 You never have to admit to not knowing something
    65 You can avoid bathing, shaving and ironing and merely be called eccentric
    66 You don't have to sleep with the boss. Unless you want to
    67 You can climb trees without exposing your undergarments
    68 You can throw up in public
    69 Facial wrinkles are called "character lines"
    70 When you're past 80, your breasts don't interfere with your belt
    71 You can totally avoid salads and it doesn't seem to do you any harm
    72 You can take the dog for a walk and have a good break
    73 Press-ups are easier
    74 You can discuss your flatulence with a certain pride
    75 You can become a binman>
    76 Or a professional footballer
    77 Or a soldier and shoot foreigners
    78 You get to eat enormous quantities of strange cheese
    79 Bad hair day? So what?>
    80 You just sort of know about flags
    81 You can open new bottles of tomato ketchup
    82 Everyone loves a man in uniform
    83 You remain optimistic about sport and sex
    84 You can play football against a load of foreigners on holiday
    85 You understand why Stevie Wonder and Led Zeppelin are important
    86 A 1972 Mercedes isn't just "a car"
    87 You have no trouble whatsoever putting stuff off untiltomorrow
    88 You have no compunction about spending a huge amount of money on black goods
    89 You don't cry. Unless, that is, your team gets promoted or wins something
    90 You don't feel the need to read instructions
    91 A phone call only lasts a minute, Unless, of course, its a particularly long and intricate Indian takeaway order
    92 You're allowed to put things in your pockets
    93 You don't have to throw things away just because they're not new any more
    94 You're allowed to - in fact, you're even expected to - sweat heavily
    95 You didn't give a toss when Kurt Gobain shot himself
    96 Whenever its hot, women walk around nearly naked
    97 You can sit about smoking in Arab countries
    98 Chocolate will never rule your life
    99 You're expected to accidentally break things
    100 If nobody fancies you, its their problem
    Lottie

  2. #2
    Registered Users Finless's Avatar
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    And we can write our names in the snow.

    Outdoor sex is much warmer and drier with a woman underneath!

    We can down a pint in one and say "come on, we're going".

    When women wake up they have to scratch their eyes.
    Last edited by Finless; 07-24-2007 at 09:40 PM.

  3. #3
    Moderator lottie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finless View Post
    When women wake up they have to scratch their eyes.
    Nah - we just do that to make out we've just woken up, when in actual fact, we woke up and hour beforehand - brushed our teeth, used moisturiser and re-applied our makeup. THEN get back into bed and pretend to be asleep before you guys even stir
    Lottie

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    Wreck Diving Moderator acelockco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lottie View Post
    Nah - we just do that to make out we've just woken up, when in actual fact, we woke up and hour beforehand - brushed our teeth, used moisturiser and re-applied our makeup. THEN get back into bed and pretend to be asleep before you guys even stir
    Not a girly girl ha? You lie.

  5. #5
    Moderator lottie's Avatar
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    Just because I typed it - doesn't necessarily mean that I've done it
    Lottie

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    Wreck Diving Moderator acelockco's Avatar
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    It should, that is what you were imposing. You said it your self it was an actual fact!

  7. #7
    Moderator lottie's Avatar
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    yeah - it was an actual fact (it was in cosmo...), And anyway, I'm not that vain...if the guy sees me looking cr&* in the morning and doesn't like, then thats his problem not mine

    Lottie

  8. #8
    Wreck Diving Moderator acelockco's Avatar
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    It certanly would be.

  9. #9
    Registered Users Sarah's Avatar
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    Another scholarly, reliable source is The Inquirer.

  10. #10
    Registered Users grim reefer's Avatar
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    We can have promiscuous sex and not be called a slut

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