View Poll Results: Vote on Our New Mission Statement

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  • Mission Statement #1

    5 25.00%
  • Mission Statement #2

    15 75.00%
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Thread: ScubaMagazine Corporate Mission Statement

  1. #1
    Registered Users Sarah's Avatar
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    Default ScubaMagazine Corporate Mission Statement

    There are 2 Mission Statements we have created. We invite members to vote on either two, or add to either, or come up with a new completely new one;

    Here is Version #1:

    ScubaMagazine.net Mission Statement

    History: Our Publisher was employed by a concern that agreed he could best realize his aspirations by pursuing opportunities outside the company he was with, so his employer invited him to participate in an involuntary employee-right-sizing initiative.

    Our Mission is Multidimensional:

    1 To ramp up our resource-leveling skill sets and partner with new media companies for value-added, win-win business solutions that leverage our knowledge base to maximize customer take-away.

    2. Design this organization as driving customer-centricity to maximize accountability and facilitating fast, smart decision-making while identifying obstructions to the efficient and satisfying flow of information technology and formulating innovative meta-solutions.

    3. Assertively leverage other's professional paradigms so that we may quickly utilize high standards in intellectual capital while continuing to continually facilitate standards-compliant structurality.


    4. Synergistically provide access to emerging resources in order to competently revolutionize quality leadership skills to solve business problems so that we may dramatically build client-focused catalysts for change in order to interactively disseminate empowered internal or "organic" sources while promoting personal employee empowerment.


    Version #2:

    We have great ideas

    We have only a skeleton staff

    We don't have any real budget

    We hope to make lots of new friends

    We love to dive & just want to have fun!

  2. #2
    Registered Users Zero's Avatar
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    Have fun. Dont use big words. If its not fun pass it on to someone that wants it and thinks its fun and move on.

    Matt

  3. #3
    Photographer PinayDiver's Avatar
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    Version 1 sounds like it's shot straight from "CubicleLand" (as Scott Adams' Dilbert comic strip would satirize ), and I'm guessing that was your tongue-in-cheek intent

    Version 2 is more in character with the easy-going nature of this forum. You may want to rethink the first line though, which under-represents the value of its creators' and contributors' tweakings/posts. Content is why anyone goes anywhere online after all, and I've read the dive discussions here (especially of the dive professionals) with interest.
    Last edited by PinayDiver; 04-22-2007 at 11:28 AM.
    Lu-Ann G. Fuentes rambles on at http://layas.blogspot.com
    "Today isn't any other day, you know." - Lewis Carroll

  4. #4

    Default

    It is a shame that this forum is moving so slowly, seems like a nice bunch of "real" people that don't have to "show off" and "click"......

  5. #5

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    iDiveLawyerChick
    To ramp up our resource-leveling skill sets and partner with new media companies for value-added, win-win business solutions that leverage our knowledge base to maximize customer take-away.


    I'm voting for version two because it has the word Fun in it
    and is a hell of alot easier to Read

    Mike
    Dive Into Life and Live for Diving!
    www.scubarecoveryco.com

  6. #6
    Registered Users Sarah's Avatar
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    Glad you guys are seeing the satirical intent of it all.

    Lu-Ann twisted my arm, I changed the 1st line to not be self-depracating, but sometimes I just can't resist poking fun at myself. Never do this stuff at 1 a.m. in the morning!

    But you're right, I did run across the Dilbert site. Too bad you can't put your own doublespeak in there to modify what they have.

    I actualy looked for over an hour at a whole bunch of corporate mission statements and took excerpts from quite a few and just combined them to make them even more incomprehensiible.

    I like the first line about History. While researching the text I came across a site where the guys were complaining about all the really lame corporate double-speak terms for firing someone, so I just found more and combined them all: "...invited to participate in an involuntary employee right-sizing initiative" indeed......lol

    Anyway, hope you all are getting a good laugh

  7. #7

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    Thanks a whole bunch ( the "whole bunch" part because I had to use 10 letters and spell checked it on top of that)

  8. #8

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    jeff likes the idear, i mean idea of the version 2! short and simple!

  9. #9
    Master of Mask Mold seasnake's Avatar
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    #1 = "hubba-wha . . . ?"

    #2= I can do fun ...

    Just along these lines, iDiveChick, tell us about Scubamagazine, who is behind it, why and how it started, etc., etc. ...

  10. #10
    Registered Users
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    Well I voted for option 1, IMHO it satisfies all the requirements for a mission statement.
    It is dense, verbose, meaningless gibberish which will keep several layers of senior managment occupied for many months thus enabling real work to be achieved without interference!
    SSMD Diver.

    Today is a good day to Dive.

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