January 5th, 2010

Today the hair trigger government monkeys closed down a California airport terminal and diverted flights after food-sniffing dogs detected the odor of well, food. In this instance, they called them bomb-sniffing dogs.

After the dogs alerted to the smell of what the government claimed were traces of explosives, two Transportation Security Theater Administration employees claimed they felt ill and needed to go to the hospital for treatment after being exposed to "explosives vapors", but have now recovered from their near fatal inhalation of vapors from what turned out to be natural honey carried by a passenger.

Michael Whorf, a spokes-buffoon for the Kern County Sheriff's Department said "We're continuing to investigate what caused these test results to come up the way they have and to find out what's in the bottles,"

Um, I will go out on a big limb and say what was possibly inside the bottles were....honey?

Whorf said Ramirez, the passenger with the weaponized honey who was detained for questioning, had been booked on a flight to Milwaukee with a connection through San Francisco but that authorities were still checking out his story and that he was being cooperative.

He cooperated no doubt by sharing recipes and folk remedies for colds using honey and how to use honey in cascaded centrifuges to condense uranium hexafloride gas into weaponized U-238