Buddy/wife dilemma

[Andy]

Dear members

This may seem trivial compared to the other posts, but what should I have done; situation 3 qualified but fairly inexperienced divers descended down shot line to 15m - divemaster & diver 2 first waiting for divers 3&4, diver 3(me) checks on diver 4 (wife above), meets them at bottom, no sign of wife diver 4, fin floats down, divemaster goes up to help wife re-unite with fin & join group.

Do you think I did right to let divemaster sort it out or should I have gone up a few metres to check on wife?

Thanks

[acelockco]

I would say, it is a good thing the DM was aware of what is going on. It is a bad thing that your wife was not. Also you should have helped her out before the DM even noticed.

My wife and I dive together all of the time and we both keep an eye on each other. Now we have been diving together for a good number of dives, and for sure things have become easier and smoother for the both of us as it will for you.

The one thing I should stress is don't rely on the DM for anything. I don't know where you are diving, but the DM will not be with you underwater in all places. In many parts of the world (and country) the DM stays on the boat and does the dive breafings and head counds, so make sure you both become self sufficient.

Ace

[Andy]

Acelockco I see your perspective, I will try to learn from this and felt guilty at the time, but equally as experience builds so does confidence in knowing what to do; that's why I would prefer to do about 20 dives with a Divemaster before venturing out as a duo (despite qualification allowing it now)

What would you say?

[rubber chicken]

In an ideal world, buddies should descend together. However, even vastly experienced divers tend to descend as individuals and meet up at the bottom. As it is , I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. The real question, IMO, is what would you have done if the DM hadn't been there ?
Maybe you should find a nice local shore dive, somewhere shallowish, get a DM/Instructor/experienced friend to show you around a few times and then, when you feel comfortable with it, do it just as a buddy pair.
Remember, diving is not a race!


Dive safe:

[BamaCaveDiver]

No need to feel guilty as long as you learn. Being a good buddy (buddy awareness and all that jazz) is a skill that must be mastered like any other. You seem to have a better start than some divers that have been diving for years; at least you were attentive enough to know to question the incident later. Like I keep telling my wife in the pool, you will only get better by going down and practicing the skills (you can't learn them at the surface chatting.)

[Daddy-h2O]

You did all right, the DM did right by staying down you were not in the way of his assistance. I am sure the dm would have stayed down if you went to help.

There is no right or wrong, as long as it was handled correctly. At least in my opinion...

[Tigerbeach]

Hi Andy,
Thanks for sharing this with us. It is natural for us to want to take care of a loved one anywhere; u/w is no exception.

Is it OK that the divemaster reacted first? Absolutely; that is what they are trained to do.
If you had been able to react with the skills of a Divemaster,
I would expect you to BE one.

Just take it easy on yourself, and keep learning.
And have fun!

ASW

[acelockco]

Acelockco I see your perspective, I will try to learn from this and felt guilty at the time, but equally as experience builds so does confidence in knowing what to do; that's why I would prefer to do about 20 dives with a Divemaster before venturing out as a duo (despite qualification allowing it now)

What would you say?

Definately don't feel guilty, remember your scuba certification is a license to learn and it sounds like you both got schooled that day. The nice thing is the problem was resolved, and you did a great job by noticing. Next time(if it happens again or something else happens) you will see you will remember and act quicker. Eventually things will become second nature, and that is only something lots of diving will do for you. Remember to pay attention and relax at the same time(I know they sound like opposites, but I think you get it) and enjoy your dives.

A great thing you can do is take another class, it gives you the confidence you need to go out on your own. And even though you can learn on your own, it is much quicker and easier for someone to show you and tell you the proper way of doing things.

Like I said before, my wife is my usual dive buddy. That being said, it makes diving much more exciting to be able to share it with my wife. It is also nice, because after a while, we were very in tune with each other during dives. It will happen for you as well. Keep up the diving, your underwater adventures are just begining!

Ace

[rubber chicken]

Andy, May I also suggest, wherever you see your diving going, that you aim towards some sort of rescue training. PADI rescue diver or its equivelant. By no means rush out and sign up for the course now, but think of it as a goal, especially if you intend to make a habit of any sort of 'independent' diving. IMHO this was one of the best courses that I have ever done and it taught me a lot, not only about what to do at the fertiliser/fan interface but also about the whole mindset of safe diving.


PS: Get your wife to do this as well. Next time it could be you having the problem!

[Quero]

Ditto the advice about further training.

However, you don't need to feel at all guilty about letting the DM take care of your wife this time. It is possible that she got a little rattled by the loss of the fin, and though I'm sure she has confidence in your concern for her, she also knows that the DM is a pro and you are a newbie; therefore, the DM may have been in a better position to calm her down than you would have been. In addition, it's very tempting for people to let go--lose control of their emotions--when they are with a loved one, while on the other hand it's easier for them to get a grip when they are with someone in a leadership role.

Out of curiosity, did you discuss your wife's reactions with her? How did she feel about getting assistance from the DM? Was she disappointed that it wasn't you?