ScubaMagazine Corporate Mission Statement

There are 2 Mission Statements we have created. We invite members to vote on either two, or add to either, or come up with a new completely new one;

Here is Version #1:

ScubaMagazine.net Mission Statement

History: Our Publisher was employed by a concern that agreed he could best realize his aspirations by pursuing opportunities outside the company he was with, so his employer invited him to participate in an involuntary employee-right-sizing initiative.

Our Mission is Multidimensional:

1 To ramp up our resource-leveling skill sets and partner with new media companies for value-added, win-win business solutions that leverage our knowledge base to maximize customer take-away.

2. Design this organization as driving customer-centricity to maximize accountability and facilitating fast, smart decision-making while identifying obstructions to the efficient and satisfying flow of information technology and formulating innovative meta-solutions.

3. Assertively leverage other's professional paradigms so that we may quickly utilize high standards in intellectual capital while continuing to continually facilitate standards-compliant structurality.


4. Synergistically provide access to emerging resources in order to competently revolutionize quality leadership skills to solve business problems so that we may dramatically build client-focused catalysts for change in order to interactively disseminate empowered internal or "organic" sources while promoting personal employee empowerment.


Version #2:

We have great ideas

We have only a skeleton staff

We don't have any real budget

We hope to make lots of new friends

We love to dive & just want to have fun!

Have fun. Dont use big words. If its not fun pass it on to someone that wants it and thinks its fun and move on.

Matt

Version 1 sounds like it's shot straight from "CubicleLand" (as Scott Adams' Dilbert comic strip would satirize :)), and I'm guessing that was your tongue-in-cheek intent :)

Version 2 is more in character with the easy-going nature of this forum. You may want to rethink the first line though, which under-represents the value of its creators' and contributors' tweakings/posts. Content is why anyone goes anywhere online after all, and I've read the dive discussions here (especially of the dive professionals) with interest.

It is a shame that this forum is moving so slowly, seems like a nice bunch of "real" people that don't have to "show off" and "click"......

iDiveLawyerChick :p

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To ramp up our resource-leveling skill sets and partner with new media companies for value-added, win-win business solutions that leverage our knowledge base to maximize customer take-away.

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:rolleyes:

I'm voting for version two because it has the word Fun in it
and is a hell of alot easier to Read ;)

Mike

Glad you guys are seeing the satirical intent of it all.

Lu-Ann twisted my arm, I changed the 1st line to not be self-depracating, but sometimes I just can't resist poking fun at myself. Never do this stuff at 1 a.m. in the morning!

But you're right, I did run across the Dilbert site. Too bad you can't put your own doublespeak in there to modify what they have.

I actualy looked for over an hour at a whole bunch of corporate mission statements and took excerpts from quite a few and just combined them to make them even more incomprehensiible.

I like the first line about History. While researching the text I came across a site where the guys were complaining about all the really lame corporate double-speak terms for firing someone, so I just found more and combined them all: "...invited to participate in an involuntary employee right-sizing initiative" indeed......lol

Anyway, hope you all are getting a good laugh ;)

Thanks a whole bunch ( the "whole bunch" part because I had to use 10 letters and spell checked it on top of that)

jeff likes the idear, i mean idea of the version 2! short and simple!

#1 = "hubba-wha . . . ?"

#2= I can do fun ...

Just along these lines, iDiveChick, tell us about Scubamagazine, who is behind it, why and how it started, etc., etc. ...

Well I voted for option 1, IMHO it satisfies all the requirements for a mission statement.
It is dense, verbose, meaningless gibberish which will keep several layers of senior managment occupied for many months thus enabling real work to be achieved without interference!:D

Seasnake,

SMN was created by a faction of the Illuminati working with members of the Triad Commission operating in conjunction with Sasquatchs, Bigfoots, Chupacabras and the feared Manananggal, all working out of an alien staffed command post in Area 51, and the intent of SMN is to swoop down on all other dive related media as the opening salvo towards eventual total and complete world domination.

Thanks to iDC for being the corporate headhunter and finding a suitable mythical Philippine beast.

Do you need a public mission statement ?

I think not. Your audience will define your results.

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Originally Posted by Admin

Seasnake,

SMN was created by a faction of the Illuminti working with members of the Triad Commission operating in conjunction with Sasquatchs, Bigfoots, Chupacabras and the feared Manananggal, all working out of an alien staffed command post in Area 51, and the intent of SMN is to swoop down on all other dive related media as the opening salvo towards eventual total and complete world domination.

Thanks to iDC for being the corporate headhunter and finding a suitable mythical Philippine beast.

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Now THAT is a cause I can get behind ... :cool: lol

SCG,

Ron's questions were answered immediately the day he asked them, just privately.

We thought the "official answer" would be received humorously as it was so over-the-top, but check your PM box. :)

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Originally Posted by Admin

SCG,

Ron's questions were answered immediately the day he asked them, just privately.

We thought the "official answer" would be received humorously as it was so over-the-top, but check your PM box. :)

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Uhm, you do know that has the effect of making (most of) us all the more curious about your private answer to the publicly-posted question (like being intrigued by a secret club we're kept out of :D)

I know not this "fun" of which you speak...please help!

And Admin, Tikbalang and Kapre are up in arms over the selection of Manananggal over them :)

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Originally Posted by PinayDiver

And Admin, Tikbalang and Kapre are up in arms over the selection of Manananggal over them :)

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and don't forget our baby Tianak... :D

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Originally Posted by Daddy-h2O

I know not this "fun" of which you speak...please help!

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me too... :D :o

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C'mon Admin...post it... post it.... :D

the0nlinediver,

What they have done is given YOU the opprotunity to let you add to the internet for scuba divers. So really the question is what will YOU do?

Ask not what ScubaMagazine.net can do for you, but what you can do for the SMn Community.

Hey, sounds like a twist off a John F. Kennedy quote!

Joking aside, we think a PHP script based software board is the best way to go. We're certainly not going to spend several hundred thousand dollars to reinvent the wheel and turn around and offer a free board. We're familiar with the other boards and the different software used, and the one we chose is the most stable, well supported, most prolifically modified, and could allow us to offer the most to the dive community.

We obviously took a look at all the other boards. Some have a few single features that are unique, so we took a look at what other forums had individually and collectively grouped them all together into one forum. Nobody to our knowledge has the collection of features we have.

We're being copied left and right, so we must be doing something right, and all the defamation and hacking attempts by administrators and moderators of other boards was all expected and part of the plan that worked to our advantage.

The only people that want to seem to know exactly who are the administrators, founders and mods are our detractors looking to dig up dirt, so we ignore such requests as we see them for what they are.

But for those without such intentions, we're just some tech and recreational divers that came from another board where we have a flair for writing and an unquenchable thirst for dive adventure and we just want to share our enthusiasm with others on the same journey.

When we start doing tropical group trips, you can all join us for the fun and see who we all are in person-just a bunch of regular divers.

We're not out to dominate scuba forums, be the king of the hill, make a truckload of $, rub competitors nose in anything, or partake in their drama, we're just out to have a good time, experience and share natural beauty most non-divers can't even dream of, and make friends along our journey, and that is what we think diving is all about.

I did not originally own this forum, it was owned by another entity that was purchased, and they had us sign a non-disclosure agreement upon ownership transfer.

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Originally Posted by acelockco

the0nlinediver,

What they have done is given YOU the opprotunity to let you add to the internet for scuba divers. So really the question is what will YOU do?

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Hi acelockco,

I have that already with numerous other forums aimed at SCUBA divers. Why is this one different?

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Originally Posted by The Publisher

The only people that want to seem to know exactly who are the administrators, founders and mods are our detractors looking to dig up dirt, so we ignore such requests as we see them for what they are.

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Sounds like you guys have had some bad times on other SCUBA related bulletin boards and you do not want to admit your true identities because of some of the immature people in our diving business who make life unpleasant. I can dig that.

I'm certainly not a detractor or looking to dig up dirt but I am an interested party in making sure that divers get a good and not a raw deal online. That has a lot to do with how you describe yourselves and what services you provide. I don't give a hoot whether you pay for your software or not, but I do worry if you mislead your potential community about what it is.

Your domain name is scubamagazine.net. Now 'scuse me for being colloquial but a magazine is full of editorial articles, photos, information and has just a few pages of user content in the form of feedback. Thats not what we find on scubamagazine.net. iDiveChick/Sarah is out there marketing unique features but I don't see any. I see just another forum, with the added unfriendliness of having to create an account after viewing 4 or 5 posts - what is that all about?

There must be 3 figures of forums for divers in English, possibly 4 figures. Why create another?

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Originally Posted by the0nlinediver

Hi acelockco,

I have that already with numerous other forums aimed at SCUBA divers. Why is this one different?

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There are many reasons, but I will give you the singular reason why this board is better than ALL of the others......READY??

Because you are graced by my presence here, that should be good enough.

However if all you are here to do is complain, do us all a favor and get narced!

Lawyerspeak rawks!!! :D

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Originally Posted by iDiveChick

We have great ideas

We have only a skeleton staff

We don't have any real budget

We hope to make lots of new friends

We love to dive & just want to have fun!

---

Being a complete noob, I have stumbled into this forum as one of my first on the topic of SCUBA. If the forum is the crux of scubamagazine.net, so be it. I will read all that is of interest & / or educational for me in my newfound hobby.
My other hobby is flying R/C airplanes. There is one shinning star with regard to an online magazine / forum and I am hopeful that this will blossom into the same type of mix. If interested check it out RC Universe. http://www.rcuniverse.com/index.cfm.

As this is provided to me at no cost, I would be happy to help out if I ever can!

Aerospot,

I have posted numerous times on RC Universe regarding rc sailplanes I fly (I fly hang gliders, paragliders and full size sailplanes too)and a 1/5 scale Fieseler Storch I picked up.

Now one of these days I need to pick up a full size Slepcev Fieseler Storch STOL kitplane with that Czech inline dry sumped motor....

Welcome to the forum!

What is it with diving and every other hobby then has to be an expensive one?
Just got an R/C heli:eek:

Matt

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Originally Posted by Zero

What is it with diving and every other hobby then has to be an expensive one?
Just got an R/C heli:eek:

Matt

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Good luck with the RC heli !! I've never flown one and hear they are a challenge to learn. I have a RC Simulator that has helicopters in it and all I can do is crash them...:confused:

I'll stick with the balsa wood airplanes. I dont have to machine new parts (or buy them $$) when I need to repair from an extra hard landing...:D

To me version 1 and version 2 are like the "Body" and the "Soul" for this site. The tow are integrating each other to better tell and desribe the reason behind creating this lovely web site.

In other words its the "Mission" and the "Vision"

wishing you all the best.

I voted number one because it is open to interpretation by high dollar lawyers and therefore towith anyone can break the deal at any time forthwith at a moments notice or without notice depending on how you read the third paragraph of the opening statement. Not withstanding the fourth line of the fifth declaration of intent. Therefore here within is transmitted my vote and opinion. And you will hear from my lawyer in the morning now that I am physiologically scared from this experience. Our maybe just narced?:o

It's all quite clear. Under the Doctrine of Res Ipsa Loquittur, and the rebuttable presumptions that arise....we can establish a commencement of statutory tolling, that includes but is not limited to unlimited indemnification of third party liabilities, not withstanding part 2 of subsection A, unless where otherwise expressly prohibited by law. This may not be applicable in your jurisdiction, so this may not apply to you.

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Originally Posted by The Publisher

It's all quite clear. Under the Doctrine of Res Ipsa Loquittur, and the rebuttable presumptions that arise....we can establish a commencement of statutory tolling, that includes but is not limited to unlimited indemnification of third party liabilities, not withstanding part 2 of subsection A, unless where otherwise expressly prohibited by law. This may not be applicable in your jurisdiction, so this may not apply to you.

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Void in Alaska and Hawaii! And that is why my lawyer will be contacting a third party in the morning!:D :eek: :cool:

I would just like to know how to be a sponsor for the site or buy some ads. Anybody there?

cozumel mark was a plant from another board who signed up under false pretenses and so was banned.