You dive like a girl!

Now, why do men say that to diss each other, when in reality they really wish they could?

I think it has less to do with diving, as it does with just being the inserted activity during the insult:

"You ______ like a girl."

Anthropologically speaking, humans have societal and gender expectations and roles they are to meet, and anything short of that it to be ostracized, good naturedly and otherwise.

Condemnation, ostracization, laws, etc, are all designed to enforce behavioral expectations.

In the case of males, a male who acts effeminate is not deemed worthy of as a mating partner by women, as it runs contrary to evolutionary utility for women. Since buddies at times like to insult each other for sport, and since it is a "man-law" you cannot show affection for a buddy, the same man-law code says insulting a buddy is an acceptable means of showing affection. I know, I know, go figure.....

But by a guy telling another guy he does something "...like a girl", i.e., effeminate, you are essentially telling a male that he is not worthy of a female's affection and desire. That is sure to enforce a behavioral expectation of not being effeminate or "girl-like".

So it is done either as a means of showing affection to a buddy, or to enforce societal expectations. In man-speak, it is never meant as an insult to women.

Not that I have any thoughts on the matter, lol.

My response is usually something silly like..."Er... uh... last time I checked, I think I WAS a girl!" :p

I say thanks and beam with pride :D

Seeing as just about all of the female divers that I know (personally) are explorers and have much better SAC rates/trim than a lot of the guys I have dived with, I would take it as a compliment. Just smile, say thanks, and totally ruin their day :p

Well, another tactic women can respond with is the confusion tactic where when a guys says derisively to a woman: "You dive like a girl!" Give him a big hug and say: "That's so sweet of you!" and smile.

Two dynamics happen here. The aggressor becomes confused, as what was an insult has been turned around into a compliment. Secondly, he received a hug, which energizes an entirely unanticipated physiological response to the scenario.

The aggressor now becomes the outwitted victim, not knowing if he should try to re-turn it back around again, or put some more thought into that hug....

It is just too many tasks using too much of the neural network simultaneously for a guy to process, causing either the program to get hung up or the network to entirely shutdown.