Colorful Characters (And We Don't Mean The Fishes)

I once dived with this…

…yoga instructor who wore white like a trademark and who, it was whispered around the deck, tutored presidents and CEOs. I wondered then why this supposed master at breathing was exhaling bubbles at shallow intervals, consuming air faster than the rest of us. She was excitable too, barreling through other divers for a closer look at say, a pawikan (sea turtle) or marble ray, disturbing it away to the group’s exasperation. For a practitioner of body awareness, I thought, this woman did not seem to know how to position herself unobtrusively around marine life :confused:

…deaf-mute underwater photographer who initially had trouble connecting with people (most shied away from the perceived extra effort of trying to make sense of his gesticulations). Underwater, however, where everyone was muted anyway, he was a master at the hand signals, truly in his element, the most animated and “talkative” in the group. Dangling the promise of an underwater photo-souvenir, he confidently herded (with energetic wrist flicks) divers this way and that for the best backdrop of schooling barracudas--although, I noticed, he didn’t always press the camera button! :D

And you? :)

i remember hearing a story from my SI that he once dove w/ a diver of actually and literally took off his wetsuit and defecated underwater and tried to sit on a vase coral? <--- i cant remember the name) well, as if it wont float.... :D

While on our knees and lined up in a row on Monad Shoal (waiting, waiting for a manta to glide in), we were semi-aware of one local divemaster swimming to and fro from behind our backs -- methodically picking up one octopus after another, seemingly examining it, test-breathing from it, even hand-signaling O.K.

Later, he confessed that he was already about to backroll when he discovered that his tank had only 1,500 psi. This being the second dive, and with all the other tanks awarded to guests, he decided to just go with it and, when he already needed to, just start “testing” other divers’ air. Ingenious :D

Your turn :)

hahahaha nice! i'll keep that in mind... just in case.... :D ;)

What? No story-to-trade? (she says, wanting to be entertained :D).

uhmm... i think i ran out interesting of dive stories/ experience... people....pls. contribute... anyone? :D :p

Haha, no pressure :) While awaiting Sarah, Matt, Missy, Ron, phrenicnerve, WetWillie, Bubblemaker, Daddy-h20, BamaCaveDiver, onebourbon to share their own dive stories (LOL) over balut and beer :D…here’s one under the “Tear Our Hairs Out” category:

On a dive in Apo Reef, three divers, including our divemaster, brought down one newly bought underwater camera housing each to TEST against possible leaking-under-pressure.

Midway into the dive, what else would choose to reveal itself but a magnificent and powerful-looking hammerhead shark!

No one in the group had ever seen one before. Tanks were banged like crazy. Arms punched overhead. Muffled screams.

And they could've kicked themselves over the fact that all three camera housings contained only…drumroll please…paper :o

While posing for a picture at 90', after just reaching the bottom on this nice wreck we have here locally, The Arrow, an "instructor" and a "divemaster" completed their descent by CRASHING into the bottom directly between photographer and subject. I mean literally CRASHING . . . their descent rate was probably more like 75 ATMOSPHERES per minute and the resulting silt cloud where they struck the bottom would make you think a meteorite had just hit. As they were engulfed by their own silt cloud that had now destroyed our photo op, they gave us the ok signal and crawled off along the bottom.

(Best I could come up with on short notice . . . :p )

Thanks for the mention Pinay, but I have no idea what balut is , and from what I read over at that other thread , I'm not sure I want too. I do have some rather interesting character stories that I may relate, but you will have to pardon some languge.
During a surface Interval at a Local Shore Dive

Two divers enter the water, both decked out well beyond thier physical capacity, both we found out later were in thier early 70's and recently certified, both wore 7mm suits,gloves and hoods, both had very impressive brand new techie-like gear bc, knives, lights, more gadgets than you see in any 10 LDS, and don't forget the back ups. Both dropped the "f" bomb ever 2-3 words to sound impressive. and both were diving doubles, Both swore that snorkles were worthless, and that they filled them up with gunpowder and set them off the second they got thier certs.
The entry at the time was 2 steps and drop and you were on the wreck, it is a really cool wreck dive.
So in goes these two old guys step,...step...splash.....splash... away they go!

With in 2 minutes the one hits the surface like he was punched in the face, remember I am on shore watching this, and he is screaming " I flossed min f#$^&* (This was the only understandable word) feith" and is pounding the water with his hands. It took a minute but we relized he lost his teeth! His buddy surfaced less than a minute later completly unfazed over the whole deal. They get out huff the gear up to the car, ask directions for coffee and say they will be right back.

15-20 min later two diver surface and calls us over to show us "this stange find", right on what was remaining of part of the deck he found a full set of upper teeth! he figured they couldn't be old and thought he would bring them up. We suggested that he keep them because we didn't think the owner was going to return, he said no and left them there on a large rock next to the entrance. Just as this diver had his car packed and was leaving the two old guys show up, now walking around in ratty street clothes and just walking back and forth, Toothless finally spots his teeth drops several "f" bombs,declared them his and they head off never to be seen again.

Of all the gear I think the teeth had the longest bottom time!!

hahahaha! LMAO! nice stories! :D :p

I very much enjoyed reading through your stories! In fact, an officemate just asked why I kept bursting out in laughter. Thanks Ron and h20 (and Santelmo too), I needed that :)

More! More!

...but I guess for now the ball is back in my court? (One-for-one and all that...)

We were doing Tubbataha out on the Sulu Seas for the entire last week of May when blue skies turned grey. With the onslaught of wind and rain, our charter boat pitched and rolled. I chose to stay up on deck because I figured looking out on the horizon helped with possible dizziness better than being cooped up in my cabin.

Soon enough however, one guy couldn’t help but hurl his lunch over the rail (look out down below!). Then, like a wave, up to four people followed suit with their own gagging-and-heaving. It was not a pretty sight.

So, with all that going on, no one noticed early enough that one of the chase boats tethered to the side of our “mother boat” was being tossed by swells -- hard enough for it to slip under and then turn over! Unfortunately, in that very chase boat were the BCs, regs, and other gear of a group of divers supposedly scheduled to head out (before the weather turned).

I remember that everyone was suddenly on one side of our boat, watching the submerged chase boat as it receded under. At least two guys hurriedly suited up in a valiant effort to rescue the gear but by then these were sunk to impossible depths.

The pity for this group who lost their gear (and consequently, the chance to go out on the last few precious dives of the trip) was quite palpable.

Then came the announcement: the company’s dive shop back in Manila will outfit these guys with top-of-the-line replacements for everything they lost—down to every reel, slate or whatever equipment declared hooked to their BCs when these went down.

Human nature being what it is, pity quickly turned to envy, and there was actual talk of maybe tossing one’s own battered gear (include the rusty dive knife! and the flooded torch!) overboard “in sympathy” too. :D

oooh! ooooh! i have one. i remember a story from Gigi that her friend/student once got so narc that she kept tearing a large Fan coral. :eek: just imagine seeing a diver tearing a fan coral while laughing and making those weird noises.... :D since then her nickname has been "Narc" :D :rolleyes:

wow! brand new stuff!!! envy...envy.... lucky divers.... :D

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Originally Posted by santelmo

oooh! ooooh! i have one. i remember a story from Gigi that her friend/student once got so narc that she kept tearing a large Fan coral. :eek: just imagine seeing a diver tearing a fan coral while laughing and making those weird noises.... :D since then her nickname has been "Narc" :D :rolleyes:

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Shucks, she must've thought she was having a salad :)

My first instructor once had a student who just spaced out at 110 feet. She closed her eyes, curled up, and seemingly went to sleep. Her breathing was even enough.

He said he kept the reg in her mouth as he finned up with her. He was relieved to see her open her eyes in a minute or so.

She later told him she had been dreaming that she was back in her bed at the resort.

I help out with student divers doing open waters. Recently I have been getting a little bored and need to liven things up some. As the first dive here in Upstate New York is a shore dive, and the First dive is typically when the students get all of the wet suit on. I have had them jump on one foot or raise their arm like a chickens wing to help move the neoprene around some when it appears "bunched":D This is really funny when you get one of those big burly guys to flap around like a chicken.

I had one student that was bald, and every time his mask would leak I would take my palm and rub it upwards over my forehead and ask him to do the same. He would repeat this evertime without fail, towards the end he stopped giving me a rounded ok. He had a good sence of humor about it too.

I want to do this,
At the end of the last check out dive, I want to call them all over to look at a small turtle tucked into the palm of my hand and as the last one looks at it, I am going to start crushing it. After about 15-20 sec. I will show them that it is rubber. But my instructor says I have to be real careful who I pull this one on.

And I want to try Alka Seltzer at 80'

Yes I know these are not the nicest thing I can do, but I do get bored and this is where my mind takes me...

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Originally Posted by PinayDiver

Shucks, she must've thought she was having a salad :)

My first instructor once had a student who just spaced out at 110 feet. She closed her eyes, curled up, and seemingly went to sleep. Her breathing was even enough.

He said he kept the reg in her mouth as he finned up with her. He was relieved to see her open her eyes in a minute or so.

She later told him she had been dreaming that she was back in her bed at the resort.

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scary..... although i usually feel sleepy too during my dives... :o

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Originally Posted by Daddy-h2O

I want to do this,
At the end of the last check out dive, I want to call them all over to look at a small turtle tucked into the palm of my hand and as the last one looks at it, I am going to start crushing it. After about 15-20 sec. I will show them that it is rubber. But my instructor says I have to be real careful who I pull this one on.

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id like to try this too...lolz :D

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Originally Posted by Daddy-h2O

At the end of the last check out dive, I want to call them all over to look at a small turtle tucked into the palm of my hand and as the last one looks at it, I am going to start crushing it. After about 15-20 sec. I will show them that it is rubber. But my instructor says I have to be real careful who I pull this one on.

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Oh dear. And now you've got Santelmo wanting to pull this stunt too! You do know you're both likely to get slapped by a slate (or something) by an aghast onlooker :D


Speaking of faking it, in Ticao Bowl, Masbate while diving for mantas, we noticed that this outrigger boat seemed to be shadowing us. The fisherman looked like he was just going about his usual business. Most of the time, he lay on his boat, probably waiting for a tug on his lines or movement in his net.

As we chatted in between dives, one of the crew noticed activity, just beneath the water's surface, at a short distance. The local DM excitely said that it could be a manta.

The fisherman and his banca suddenly leapt to life, quickly motoring off to that area. We actually saw him threw a harpoon into the water. We screamed. One of the divers, shouting obscenities throughout, pulled out a gun and fired shots in the air (which was scary in itself; he turned out to be a local law enforcer). We were relieved to see the fisherman pull the harpoon out of the water with nothing stuck at the end.

That this fisherman (from another town, the local DM was sure) trailed us knowing that we were here for the mantas (that divers unwittingly bring danger to what we love) was a sobering realization!

I had a dive with a couple of Irish guys once and the language was rather colourful on the surface. Every second word was fookin this or fookin that. Made me look and im a truck driver so that says something. Anyway off on the dive we go and its rather peaceful without them in the near area swearing their heads off. Get back on the line at the end of the dive and the 2 of them are just above me and still talking! Not much is audible but you can still pick out every second word. Finish the dive and get back on the boat and their at it again. After getting out of my gear i was under the shower and one of them walks past still all geared up. On his wrist slate it looks like hes written a novel underwater there is so much scribble on it. On closer inspection of it all 3 slates are full on both sides and every second word thats on there is fook! Thinking no way it could be all like that i had a look at the other guys and it was just the same. 3 pages of fook as well!
They are 2 characters that stick out in my diving and luckily i havent seen them since.

Matt

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Originally Posted by PinayDiver

Oh dear. And now you've got Santelmo wanting to pull this stunt too! You do know you're both likely to get slapped by a slate (or something) by an aghast onlooker :D

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hihihihi :D

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Originally Posted by PinayDiver

The fisherman and his banca suddenly leapt to life, quickly motoring off to that area. We actually saw him threw a harpoon into the water.

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what a loser!? :mad:

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Originally Posted by Zero

I had a dive with a couple of Irish guys once and the language was rather colourful on the surface. Every second word was fookin this or fookin that. Made me look and im a truck driver so that says something. Anyway off on the dive we go and its rather peaceful without them in the near area swearing their heads off. Get back on the line at the end of the dive and the 2 of them are just above me and still talking! Not much is audible but you can still pick out every second word. Finish the dive and get back on the boat and their at it again. After getting out of my gear i was under the shower and one of them walks past still all geared up. On his wrist slate it looks like hes written a novel underwater there is so much scribble on it. On closer inspection of it all 3 slates are full on both sides and every second word thats on there is fook! Thinking no way it could be all like that i had a look at the other guys and it was just the same. 3 pages of fook as well!
They are 2 characters that stick out in my diving and luckily i havent seen them since.

Matt

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dont you just hate people who have nothing to say but fookin like words all day? :D :o it's like fooknin irritating... :eek: :D :p LOLZ

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Originally Posted by Zero

Every second word was fookin this or fookin that. Made me look and im a truck driver so that says something. Anyway off on the dive we go and its rather peaceful without them in the near area swearing their heads off. Get back on the line at the end of the dive and the 2 of them are just above me and still talking! Not much is audible but you can still pick out every second word.

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I actually know a guy like that. He'd drop, pardon this Tagalog swear phrase, "Put--- Ina," every few words (meaning "Your mother's a who--" *flinch*). His every line seemed to have a double exclamation mark at the end.
And then he got married. And then he had a daughter. And then his daughter got to an age where she parroted everthing her parents said.
He cleaned up his language virtually overnight :D

I belong to a dive club. We have several overnight gatherings throughout the year. One particular member drinks a bit much and needs to be curbed regularly. It is always the 1st story at the next gathering

I once dived with a female TV executive whose hair contained so many styling products that a neoprene dive hood was unable to flatten it.:) Picture Marge Simpson in black.:D

h2O: Every dive group has one of course :) . Ours, after having one too many, had to be stopped from jumping off the balcony (over a woman, naturally). Instead, he fell off the living room sofa in his sleep -- and was convinced that one of us girls (all the way from the second floor where we were billeted?!) pushed him off it!

rubber chicken: During last month's dive, the girls noted how, on the banca on the way to the site, it was a boy in the group who pulled out some product from his bag that got passed around to the other boys. As they energetically massaged in the gloop on their faces, the still relaxed girls (who were done with a pat of sunblock even before the boat left the resort) couldn't help exchanging amused looks. We said we salute their wives/girlfriends for rewiring them :)

Once watch a guy step into the lake and immediatly relized he forgot to close the zipper on his drysuit...