View Full Version : 100 reasons why its great being a bloke.

07-24-2007, 08:11 PM
Maybe you all can agree or disagree with whether these are great reasons to be a bloke.
Thought ya'll might like these to increase that testerone stuff and boost your egos.....

1 You never get drunk as fast as the girl you're chatting up
2 You can tell jokes
3 You get jokes
4 You can go topless in Tunisia without getting stoned
5 You go to bed with women
6 You can work the video
7 You're taller. Most of the time
8 Sensitivity was never in the job description
9 Cricket seems like a good idea
10 You're expected to flash your arse in the window when you're travelling by coach
11 Fat is a feminist issue
12 George Best is a role model
13 A good spot isn't the end of the world
14 Betting shops don't go quiet when you walk in
15 You can scratch your privates in public
16 You don't have to breast-feed
17 You get to operate heavy machinery
18 Taking the piss is perfectly acceptable
19 You don't have to remember where you've left things...
20 ...but your records are in alphabetical order
21 You know exactly what curtains you want for your new house. They're the ones they've got in the nearest curtain shop
22 Ever heard the term "unfit father"?
23 Your mum will always love you. In spite of everything
24 Every newsagent is full of available partners - provided you can reach the top shelf
25 You can carry an over the shoulder courier's bag on your back without rearranging your breasts
26 It really doesn't matter if you can't stand up after midnight
27 You are far more likely to receive than to give oral sex
28 You have only a limited range of acceptable hairstyles to choose from
29 And as you get older, you get less hair to worry about
30 You can talk bollocks for hours without anybody picking you up on details
31 You don't get patronised by coppers
32 If you wear a suit and tie, nobody will suspect you're a lesbian
33 You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday and left on the floor all night
34 Even your best underwear is relatively uncomplicated
35 As long as your mum's still alive you can get your washing done at her place
36 Being treated like a sex object isn't such a bad thing
37 Men rule the world..
38 ...and you live in it
39 You can whistle loudly in the street
40 Your friends genuinely understand the offside rule
41 You have absolutely no compunction about hiring a cleaning lady
42 Unless you're a cyclist, you never have to consider waxing your legs
43 You can eat a banana in front of builders
44 You can pee standing up and wherever you want
45 You get to organise your best mate's stag night
46 Sex can be as quick as you like
47 You don't have to wear makeup...
48 ...but you can turn your face into a work of art with clever manipulation of facial hair>
49 Your nails are always dry
50 You won't grow up to be Anita Roddick
51 In fact, you don't even have to grow up
52 You can write a racy novel without being called a slapper
53 You can become a Catholic priest and have unlimited free wine
54 A Zimmer frame looks better on a man>
55 So does a moustache
56 You get to wear comfy shoes
57 If you've got a toaster - which you have - you're never more that two minutes away from a tasty and nutritious meal
58 You don't collapse in floods of tears if your partner says you look "fine"
59 Socket sets
60 You can have a baby without changing your wardrobe
61 Tights are totally out of the question
62 You can buy marrows, courgettes and cucumber without getting embarrassed
63 You don't get pissed off if your spouse forgets Valentine's Day
64 You never have to admit to not knowing something
65 You can avoid bathing, shaving and ironing and merely be called eccentric
66 You don't have to sleep with the boss. Unless you want to
67 You can climb trees without exposing your undergarments
68 You can throw up in public
69 Facial wrinkles are called "character lines"
70 When you're past 80, your breasts don't interfere with your belt
71 You can totally avoid salads and it doesn't seem to do you any harm
72 You can take the dog for a walk and have a good break
73 Press-ups are easier
74 You can discuss your flatulence with a certain pride
75 You can become a binman>
76 Or a professional footballer
77 Or a soldier and shoot foreigners
78 You get to eat enormous quantities of strange cheese
79 Bad hair day? So what?>
80 You just sort of know about flags
81 You can open new bottles of tomato ketchup
82 Everyone loves a man in uniform
83 You remain optimistic about sport and sex
84 You can play football against a load of foreigners on holiday
85 You understand why Stevie Wonder and Led Zeppelin are important
86 A 1972 Mercedes isn't just "a car"
87 You have no trouble whatsoever putting stuff off untiltomorrow
88 You have no compunction about spending a huge amount of money on black goods
89 You don't cry. Unless, that is, your team gets promoted or wins something
90 You don't feel the need to read instructions
91 A phone call only lasts a minute, Unless, of course, its a particularly long and intricate Indian takeaway order
92 You're allowed to put things in your pockets
93 You don't have to throw things away just because they're not new any more
94 You're allowed to - in fact, you're even expected to - sweat heavily
95 You didn't give a toss when Kurt Gobain shot himself
96 Whenever its hot, women walk around nearly naked
97 You can sit about smoking in Arab countries
98 Chocolate will never rule your life
99 You're expected to accidentally break things
100 If nobody fancies you, its their problem

07-24-2007, 09:38 PM
And we can write our names in the snow.

Outdoor sex is much warmer and drier with a woman underneath!

We can down a pint in one and say "come on, we're going".

When women wake up they have to scratch their eyes.

07-24-2007, 09:45 PM
When women wake up they have to scratch their eyes.

Nah - we just do that to make out we've just woken up, when in actual fact, we woke up and hour beforehand - brushed our teeth, used moisturiser and re-applied our makeup. THEN get back into bed and pretend to be asleep before you guys even stir :D

07-24-2007, 09:57 PM
Nah - we just do that to make out we've just woken up, when in actual fact, we woke up and hour beforehand - brushed our teeth, used moisturiser and re-applied our makeup. THEN get back into bed and pretend to be asleep before you guys even stir :D

Not a girly girl ha? You lie. :p

07-24-2007, 10:09 PM
Just because I typed it - doesn't necessarily mean that I've done it

07-24-2007, 10:24 PM
It should, that is what you were imposing. You said it your self it was an actual fact!

07-24-2007, 10:51 PM
yeah - it was an actual fact (it was in cosmo...), And anyway, I'm not that vain...if the guy sees me looking cr&* in the morning and doesn't like, then thats his problem not mine


07-24-2007, 10:58 PM
It certanly would be. ;)

07-24-2007, 11:40 PM
Another scholarly, reliable source is The Inquirer.

grim reefer
07-25-2007, 03:28 AM
We can have promiscuous sex and not be called a slut :cool:

07-25-2007, 04:55 AM
Actually, we like being called a slut.

07-25-2007, 05:02 AM
Actually, we like being called a slut.

Insert Paris Hilton's favorite saying here ---->

07-25-2007, 05:09 AM
"That's hot!"

07-25-2007, 01:39 PM
iDive, you got it!

07-25-2007, 02:33 PM
32 If you wear a suit and tie, nobody will suspect you're a lesbian

Actually, I am a lesbian, trapped in a man's body.

grim reefer
07-27-2007, 08:00 PM
Actually, we like being called a slut.

I like sluts ;)

04-03-2008, 04:18 AM
Some of my best friends are sluts.

The Publisher
04-03-2008, 04:40 AM
When a guy gets around when he is younger, it is socially acceptable, even brag-worthy, for a woman, it is not...I know, the double standard....but there is a perfectly good evolutionary reason behind this.

But later on in life, the tables are turned. The woman becomes "fiesty" whereas the man becomes a "dirty old man".